On January 8th I posted a video on Facebook that showed me reading the text that I’m including below. My intentions were fourfold. First, I wanted to parody the thousands of “advice” videos that flood YouTube that begin by exhorting viewers to stop engaging in a common practice. They do this by either saying “you’re doing it wrong,” or “they won’t tell you . . .”. They often have a few seconds of questionable advice that is preceded by a long preamble asking for an endorsement and arguing why the tips they are about to offer are essential for one reason or another. Second, I wanted to poke fun at the vast number of false “facts” that many “influencers” try to pass off as rigorously researched and validated. Third, more specifically, I am horrified by how easily our leaders-to-be have accepted the nonsense that Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has been spouting, and I wanted to show that any fool can come up with parallel arguments are are equally ridiculous. Finally, I am concerned that Mark Zuckerberg’s recent decision, in deference to Donald Trump, to suspend fact-checking on Facebook will make it easier for liars, fraudsters, charlatans, and corrupt politicians (am I being redundant?) to completely mislead the naive public. This threat might be heightened with the inappropriate use of artificial intelligence. (By the way, the term “artificial intelligence” might simultaneously refer to the technology used to create content, and also to those who fall for misinformation.)
I might have only been amusing myself and relieving some frustration by creating and posting this video. If it was annoying, misleading, or simply stupid, I apologize. Regardless, while many of my friends have decided to stop following politics and will no longer tune in to the news, I feel compelled to use the channels available to me to protest the direction of the administration that will take power on Monday, January 20th. When I heard that Trump wanted to make Canada the 51st state, annex Greenland, and take back control of the Panama Canal, I thought these would be the statements that would finally enlighten Americans to his delusional unfitness to run the country. But when I found out that Fox News has fallen right in step with him to promote these ideas, I realized our country has fallen off a cliff. I don’t think we can sit back and watch what is happening with nothing more than a groan and a shake of the head. I am choosing to use music and words to resist him and the sycophants with whom he has surrounding himself. I know it will do little good, but I don’t know if I have any other legitimate options.
Here is the content of the video I posted. It is followed by the video itself.
Stop doing this today!
I’m about to tell you something you’ve been doing all your life that is not only unhealthy and unnecessary, but expensive, wasteful, and harmful to our planet. But before I do, please take a moment to hit the “like” button below and subscribe to my channel. By doing so you’ll not only keep me alive on YouTube, but you’ll help me get this important message out to more people – a message that “they” don’t want you to hear, and a message that will add years to your life, bring joy to your everyday routine, and put hundreds of thousands of dollars in your bank account. It also might just help you find or enhance your true love.
Hi. I’m Mike, perhaps the greatest, most insightful, and most honest influencer that inhabits my household today. So you can be confident that I have the credentials to address the topic I’m going to cover. What I’m about to tell you is something I’m sure you’ve never heard before – something that scientists have known for a long time but have not told you, either because they don’t want to contradict conventional practices, they are intimidated by the powers that be, or they have a financial incentive to keep you in the dark.
You’ll find hundreds of pundits on the internet telling you to stop doing this or that, or change the way you do things, or point out mistakes you’ve been making your entire existence. There may be a little truth to what they say, but for the most part they are motivated by superstition, prejudice, or the desire to enrich themselves. I promise you that I am not one of those (but I do encourage and appreciate your financial support).
You’ve heard dieticians, gastroenterologists, cardiologists, and oncologists tell you to give up this or that fruit or vegetable, limit your intake of sugar and salt, shun gluten, quit smoking, and consume alcohol on a limited basis, if at all. While they speak some truth, and there may be health benefits to following their advice, their messages are simplistic, limited, and fail to consider the much, much larger picture. I view them from the same perspective as I would someone telling you to enjoy the beautiful sight of a single tree, when we need to be looking at the entire forest.
I’m here to tell you right now that you’ve been doing something your entire life that is not only unnecessary, but harmful to you, society, and the planet. This is something that you have always believed was essential for your health and survival. But it is not! Yes, I’m here to tell you to stop eating today! For your own sake, give up food immediately and entirely!
Think about it. Who benefits from our consumption of meat, fruit, vegetables, grains, snacks, and desserts? Who? Farmers and grocers, that’s who. Up until now no one has ever told you that all the nutrients and calories you need are present in the air we breathe and the atmospheric elements that we absorb through our skin and our visual, olfactory, and auditory senses. You don’t need to be taking in solids and liquids through your mouth. God intended your lips, tongue, teeth and throat to speak to your loved ones, sing, and give him praise, not to convert other living things that share the Earth with us into feces.
These alternate paths to sustenance, along with faith in Jesus and the rejection of food, will lead you to a longer, healthier, and more joyful life. It’s true. You can believe me and trust in what I say, and you won’t be hearing it from anybody else, because “they” don’t want you to know this.
Imagine a world where the hillsides and plains are not cultivated but instead allowed to grow wild as our Lord intended. We won’t have to clear forests to feed ourselves. We won’t have to tolerate the nasty smell of cattle feedlots or giant poultry cages. Sewers will once again become fresh and pure streams and lakes, and bathrooms can be converted to odor-free meditation centers. Flatulence, borborygmi, stomach cramps, and diarrhea will be unheard of. Think of the time wasted at the dinner table and on the toilet – time you will now be able to spend worshipping and taking in the beauty of God’s planet.
Give up eating – the unnecessary consumption of food – today. Your body, your bank account, your fellow humans, livestock, and the planet will thank you.
Now, let me express my gratitude to Mark Zuckerberg for deciding not to fact check posts on Facebook any longer.